My reality is different than yours...

(Source: cannolis)

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230,949 notes - Posted 1 week ago

The New Testament

collegehumor:

God: Hey Jews.

Jews: Hey.

God: So listen, guys, I’m thinking we go in a different direction with this whole religion.

Jews: What?

God: You know, do a non-gritty reboot. Same God taste, new God packaging. That sort of thing.

Jews: We don’t follow.

God: Okay, work with me here, guys….

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2,632 notes - Posted 1 week ago

cassjaytuck:

what if you started making car alarm noises when people you didn’t like touched you


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656,346 notes - Posted 1 week ago

joshishollywood:

sparklewench:

editorial design antics, pt. 2

this looks like a normal magazine spread right

image

well

if you look really closely on one of the melons i put a really tiny pterodactyl right in the middle

image

no one noticed

and they actually published it

now there are 2000 copies of this magazine featuring this tiny pterodactyl and i’m the one at fault

oh my god am i a horrible person or what

If I could live one day the way you live your entire life


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166,250 notes - Posted 1 week ago

bahboh:

the police officer looks down at his tummy and says “you are under a vest” and giggles to himself

(Source: bepeu)


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223,220 notes - Posted 1 week ago

belllaavitaaa:

I don’t know how some girls are 100% straight like have you seen girls


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482,346 notes - Posted 1 week ago

so-personal:

everything personal

so-personal:

everything personal

(Source: 0dollar975)

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92,318 notes - Posted 1 week ago

zachsgay:

l
is that a lowercase L or an uppercase i youll never know


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youtubeurl:

icarly-official:

if you use the bible as an excuse towards being anti gay dont forget that:

  • shrimp
  • pork
  • obesity
  • torn clothes (like ripped jeans)
  • wearing clothing made from 2 different fabrics
  • cutting your hair
  • shaving
  • tattoos
  • and working on Sundays

are all listed as abominations in the bible as well

image


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pizzaotter:

jodyrobots:

if i were a nun I would wear heelies and glide everywhere just to fuck with people

NO DONT DO THAT

pizzaotter:

jodyrobots:

if i were a nun I would wear heelies and glide everywhere just to fuck with people

NO DONT DO THAT

(Source: ds0tm)

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245,744 notes - Posted 1 week ago

ernbarassing:

the better my hair looks the better i function in school

(Source: ernbarassing)


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185,319 notes - Posted 1 week ago

sailor-lovehandles:

The interior of a girl in love

sailor-lovehandles:

The interior of a girl in love

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190,504 notes - Posted 1 week ago

I spent 5000 years laughing at this guy’s celebration

onthesideoftheotters:

crazypeoplejail:

image

help me I can’t stop laughing

DID HE JUST RUN ALL THE WAY TO THE SEATS TO CLAP FOR HIS TEAM OMFG

(Source: crazyspookyjail)


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639,806 notes - Posted 1 week ago